Relaxation Pills
Feeling tense? Work got you stressed out? Our relaxation pills help you relieve this problem with a tried and true method. The key ingredient in our pills coaxes you into a deep state of relaxation, much deeper than states achieved through meditation. The medical profession often refers to this state as "death."
$665.95 / 1 pill
Sugar Pill
This is NOT a placebo! Our sugar pills are a sweetness enhancing drug. Take one pill, become as sweet as a teddy bear. Take two, you'll be as sweet as Barney. Take three, become as sweet as a CareBear.
Warning: Do not take more than three pills in one twenty-four hour period!!!
$59.95 / 100 pills
Leeches
Are you feeling sick? Cure any ailment with our leeches. Every leech sucks the bad blood from your body to cure all your sicknesses.
$19.95 / 1 leech
Muntosulfate-Nanotriculide-Trageline-Telphate
This revolutionary drug cures blindness, motion sickness, cancer, AIDS, Alzheimer's, dementia, anorexia, bulimia, dysentery, fear, the plague, dry eyes, brain freeze, common colds, cramps, high blood pressure, low blood pressure, diarrhea, malnutrition, herpes, hepatitis (all varieties), diabetes, death, gonorrhea, bad manners, scars, bed-wetting, traffic jams, drug addiction, swelling, spider veins, hangnails, poor eyesight, vitamin deficiency, gunshot wounds, sweaty palms, itchy or watery eyes, rubber-necking, stupidity, pink eye, color blindness, charley horses, forgetfulness, dyslexia, poor SAT scores, constipation, webbed toes, bad memories, cat scratch fever, erectile dysfunction, annoying accents, hiccups, boredom, darkness, clogged arteries, headaches... AND MORE!!! (Or not. We don't care, since the FDA doesn't have to approve herbal medicine.) Order today!
$39.95 / 20 pills