Current features and those dusty old features from yesteryear (the few that are still online) are listed here.

Gardening Guide
Find out how to garden before the garden garters you.

Furniture Guide
Learn about furniture -- before you buy.

1337 to English Translator
Translate 1337 5p3@|< into English.

Tips for Tots
Helpful advice for taking care of your baby.

Scientology vs. Weekly World News
Can you figure out if these quotes are from Scientology texts or the Weekly World News?

Do you play too many video games?
A guide to determine if you have spent too many hours playing various games.

Microshaft Catalog
All the latest software from Microshaft.

Click Osama
Click him!

The Hat is Yours
The popular Flash video... now in English! (Sort of.)

River Dance Dance Revolution
The dancing game that doesn't involve your upper body.

Click the President
Click him!

Click the Vice Pres.
Click him!

The A.I. PC
Why you don't want artificial intelligence in your computer.

Microshaft Catalog '98
The old Microshaft catalog is still here for reminiscing about how great THE NeTw0rK used to be.

Herbal Remedies
Have a problem? Want to buy useless medicine? Here ya go.