Scientology vs. Weekly World News


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Read each quote, and try to determine if it's from one of L. Ron Hubbard's©TM®TM©® ScientologyTM©®TM© texts or from the Weekly World News (a supermarket tabloid.) Don't worry, it's a difficult test, but it doesn't count toward your GPA. We promise.
 Scientology Weekly World News
1.Unsuspecting human viewers can be ordered to murder each other, destroy military equipment -- or to simply become mindless zombie slaves to the extraterrestrials when they land.
2.This activity was conducted by the Hoipolloi, a group of operators in meat body societies. They were typical carnival people.
3.There's hardly one of us who hasn't asked himself the question, "Isn't it better to be mean?" Almost every one of us has had the feeling that we were a bit soft.
4...there's no helicopter there, the guy's frozen in alcohol and glycol, and sitting in a block, being given a big 3D Cecil B. De Milles special motion picture.
5.It may be 1,000 years before another extraterrestrial lands on Earth, comes right out into the open and announces he's here.
6.They've been looking down the backs of our necks and we didn't know it, for thousands of years. Each one of us as a person and as a society as a whole.
7.In view of the fact that... no man can go faster than the speed of... light, which is a bunch of balderdash.
8.Each KH satellite is essentially a gigantic orbiting digital camera outfitted with a huge lens. They are placed into secret orbits by NASA space shuttles or Titan 4 rockets and images from the satellites are analyzed by powerful computers at the National Imagery and Mapping Agency, which distributes the photos to other government agencies.
9.It's a common pattern for extraterrestrials to pluck ordinary people out of obscurity and use implants to both propel them to positions of leadership.
10.Yes, I've been to Heaven. And so have you.
11.The implant station existed on the order of magnitude of 43,000,000,000,000 years ago.
12.A pink-striped white shirt with sleeve garters was the uniform of the Hoipolloi. Such a figure often rode on the roller coaster cars. Monkeys were also used on the cars. Elephants sometimes formed part of the equipment.
13.The Nazis occultists also believed that a forgotten land called Hyperborea or Ultima Thule, located near the North Pole, hid an entrance to the underground world.
14.The head of the Galactic Confederation... caused people to be brought to Teegeeack and put an H Bomb on the principal volcanoes
15.When through with his crime Loyal Officers captured him after 6 years of battle and put him in an electronic mountain trap where he still is.
 Scientology Weekly World News

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